


When you aren’t enough

by Spidey_son



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anorexia, Cutting, Eating Disorders, F/F, Inaccurate medical stuff, Injury, Needles, Self Harm, female on female you don’t like don’t read, hypogylcaemia, medical scenes, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 02:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20922770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spidey_son/pseuds/Spidey_son
Summary: Kara is on a downward spiral, will her friends be able to save her from herself? TW: panic attacks, self harm, eating disorders, anorexia, depression





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own supergirl or any of these characters! 
> 
> English is not my first language so please let me know if there are any mistakes! 
> 
> Please review and let me know if you want to see more 😊

Kara had been anorexic for a while now, only no one knew it. She’d slowly stopped eating in public after receiving too many comments about how much she eats in a day.

“Danvers, you gonna do your job or just keep stuffing your face?”

“Kara! How the hell are you so thin? It’s all going to catch up with one day.”

Eventually she decided not to eat in public but between Supergirl and Catco duties she was hardly home, which meant she was hardly eating.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter!   
Again I don’t own supergirl or the characters!

Kara awoke at 6:45 as always only today she was exhausted, she’d had a massive day yesterday with Supergirl duties. Last night alone she’d, saved 112 people from a burning building, and stopped 3 aliens from terrifying the city. She was confused as to why she was so tired, normally she only needed an hour or two of sleep a night. She eventually decided to just get over it and get on with her day. She went to stand up but got a bit dizzy. She sat down confused before trying more slowly, this time she was fine. She ignored her bodies warning and quickly got ready for work.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror she looked over her body, disgusted by what she saw. She stepped onto her scales and they read 57kg. She had only lost 1kg. She couldn’t believe it, she was so angry at herself, she thought she was going so well. She hadnt eaten for 2 days and with all the flying she was doing she thought for sure she’d have lost more.

She looked at the fridge before she left, she knew she should eat something with how much she did yesterday but she couldn’t bring herself to do it not with her weight still to high. So she grabbed her bag and slammed the door behind her before walking to work.

On the way to work she got that dizzy feeling again, she stopped and leaned against a wall and waited for the feeling to pass before continuing on into work. She finally reached her desk at Catco and she felt weird. She didn’t feel sick per say but she didn’t feel well either she just felt weird. Her skin was clammy, her heart was beating in her chest, her head was floaty. Kara really has no idea what was going on with her. She was pulled out of her thoughts and when she heard the elevator ding announcing Cats arrival.

“Here’s your coffee m-miss Grant.” She said hoping Cat wouldn’t pick up on her slight stutter. Cat took the coffee and motioned for her to follow. Once they were in the privacy of Cats office she turned to Kara and asked: “Kara? Are you okay?” Cat noticed that Kara was paler than usual, and she wasn’t her confident bubbly self.

“I-I’m fine, I’m just a little tired.”

“Kara, are you sure? You don’t seem like yourself? I know you had a big day yesterday but it still normally wouldn’t affect you this much,” Cat was worried for her girl friend, she’d never seen her like this before.

“Cat I’m fine honestly, I’m just a little tired. Nothing to worry about.” Kara replied anxious that Cat wouldn’t drop the subject.

“Okay, then Kara. And since you’re fine, come to mine for dinner tonight, We can have your favourite pizza and potstickers.” Kara grimaced at the thought of eating food she couldn’t eat that calorie filled muck! But she also couldn’t let Cat find out what she’d been doing so she decided to say yes. She’d come up with an excuse as to why she hasn’t eaten later she decided.

She asked Cat if that was all she needed and then turned and exited Cats office.

‘Stupid! Stupid, stupid Kara! You can’t even speak properly! How are you meant to hide if you can’t even lie?’ The thoughts were circling her mind. She couldn’t ignore them, they just made her mood even worse. She sat down at her desk and finished editing the article one of the junior reporters gave to her.——————————————————————————————

A few hours later she was still on the same report and Cat was really starting to get worried about her young girl friend. She had never seen Kara this down, this unfocused and that worried her. She knew something was going on with her and she knew she wasn’t going to stop until she figured it out. Then she had the thought of messaging Alex, no one is closer to Kara.

C- Hi Alex, it’s Cat. Kara’s been acting strange all day, she seems to be pale, and she’s definitely unfocused and she seems almost depressed. Did something happen? Did I miss something? Please Alex if you know anything please get back to me, I’m worried about her.

A- Hi Cat. I haven’t actually seen her outside of work for a while, she keeps cancelling our plans and saying she wants to spend time with you. So if there is something wrong she hasn’t told me about it. Let me know if you figure it out.

C- We have only spent 1 night together in the past week and a half... she’s hiding something.

A- I agree, let me know if you figure what. Also I don’t like the sound of her being pale, does she have her powers?

C- I think so, she hasn’t said she doesn’t and she did get me lunch from all the way across town in under five minutes.

A- hmm, okay. Just keep an eye on her. Talk to you later Cat.

Cat put her phone away and called Kara into her office. “Kara!”

As Kara went to stand up to report to her boss and girlfriend, she got that now familiar dizzy feeling and leant heavily on the desk for a minute, before continuing to Cats office. “Yes miss Grant?” She started.

“Kara? Are you okay? You really don’t look good. Have you lost your powers?” Cats worry was only increasing. The girl looked like she was going to pass out. Kara just stared at her for while not really knowing how to answer.

“I’m, I’m fine.” She said very unconvincingly.

“Kara come sit please.” Cat patted the piece of couch next to her.

Kara nodded and took the spot next to Cat. Cat gently picked up Kara’s hands, and placed them in her lap. The first thing she noticed was how cold they were but Kara always ran warm... something definitely wasn’t right. “Kara, please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on? I can tell when you’re sad, I can tell when you’re sick, and right now you look like you’re going to collapse. Please talk to me, I’m worried about you.” Cat was using a voice she normally only ever used for Carter but Kara her supposedly indestructible girlfriend looked sick and that scared her more than anything, she couldn’t lose Kara too.

“I... I’m fine honestly, you don’t need to worry. I’ve just been doing to much lately between here and the DEO and my other duties, I haven’t been having much sleep and I think it’s all starting to catch up with me.” Good Kara thought, that was actually believable. Cat stared intently at the young hero, trying see any hint of deception but surprisingly she found none. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that Kara wasn’t telling the whole truth and that something was wrong.

“Okay then Kara, if you’re sure. You will still come to mine for dinner because I miss you and we both still need to eat and you can sleep at mine so I can make sure you actually get some sleep. Sound good?” Kara wasn’t used to hearing Cat talk to her like this, she wasn’t used to being talked to like she actually had worth and like she wasn’t a total fuck up. It took everything in her to hold back the tears at the fact that someone actually cared for her.

“It sounds like a plan Cat, thanks.” She replied and pulled her in for a hug. To say Cat was surprised would be an understatement but she returned the hug nonetheless.

The eventually broke the hug and Kara made her exit, thoughts circling like vultures once more.

‘You can’t eat, if you eat you’ll be fat.’

‘If you eat tonight, you’ll make the last few week pointless, you’ll prove to your coworkers you are the fat pig they think you are.’

‘You eat and Cat will have to hire a crane to get you out of the house, you be slower as Supergirl and people will die, you will kill people because you’re to fat to fly.’

The thoughts became to much for her and instead of returning to her desk she headed for the bathroom.

CAT’S POINT OF VIEW

Kara eventually broke of the hug and made her exit. I watched as she made her way out. I couldn’t help it as my eyes wandered below her waist. She had almost made it to her desk when she stopped and it looked like she was in some sort of debate with herself. She looked overwhelmed. Then as quickly as it started it ended and she walked to the bathroom. I knew then that Kara was not okay, I have never seen her like this. This isn’t Kara and I am going to do everything in my power to help her with what ever is going on.

THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW-

Kara and Cat left Catco and we headed to Cats penthouse for dinner. Kara’s thoughts were trying to kill her once again; ‘you can’t eat’

‘How could you think she loves you? No one could love someone as fat as you! No one deserves to die more than you, you can’t even think of excuse to get out of eating, you think people care but they don’t. You’re selfish and you’re the worst kind of person, you’re an alien.’

Kara had been so absorbed in her own thoughts she didn’t realise she was now standing in Cats apartment with tears streaming down her face. She was finally pulled out of her mind when Cat pulled her in for a hug. “Kara? Are you okay?” Cat asked worriedly but gently. Kara did the last thing she expected she pushed Cat away and backed up into the corner before sliding down the wall, sitting with her knees pulled to chest hyperventilating. Cat slowly approached not wanting startle her more. “Kara...” cat tried but got no response, “Kara I need you to calm down and take some deep breaths okay?” Cat was now kneeling next to Kara rubbing circles on her back. “Come on darling, you need to breathe deeply and slower for me okay? In... and out... follow my breaths you can do it, I love you.”

KARA’S POV-

I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. I don’t know what’s happening, I’ve never felt this bad before. I can here someone speaking to me in the distance but it sounds drowned out, I can’t make out the words. I still can’t breathe. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. Then I hear three words. Three words that snap me back to reality... “I love you.”

THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW-

Kara’s head snapped up “Cat?” She asked shakily and still out breath, “what did you say?” She asked not believe what she heard. Cat looked at her curiously before saying “I love you?” Kara just looked at her blankly once again stuck inside her own mind. ‘She’s lying no one can love you, who could love an alien from another planet, a dead planet. You couldn’t even die right, you couldn’t even arrive on earth at the right time, your entire life is one big fuck up. Of course no one love you.’

“No! Don’t say that! Please stop!” Kara half yelled tears once again flowing down her cheeks. Cat knew this wasn’t Kara talking, she placed her hands on either shoulder and squeezed gently trying to calm the young girl. “Kara listen to me, I love you. Whatever you’re going through right now remember that I love you, I will always love you. Come back to me Kara, I need you. I love you baby.” Kara once again looked at Cat blankly almost focused almost out of mind then cat added “I love you Supergirl.” And it was like a switch went off. Kara leaned forward and collapsed in Cats arms. “I’m so sorry Cat, I’m sorry...” she managed to get out between sobs. The elder woman just rubbed soothing circles on her back and held her close, quietly speaking positive statements to her. “I’m sorry Cat, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I can um... I can go...” Kara went to move but cat held her closer. “Kar, there’s no need to be sorry, these things happen. I want you to stay, you’re sleeping here tonight. And when you’re ready we will talk about this but right now I think you need some sleep. I love you.” Cat placed a kiss on her head before gently guiding Kara to her feet than to the master bedroom where she tucked Kara into bed before joining her.

“Cat?” Kara asked sleepily, “are we going to break up now?” She was scared to hear the answer but she also needed to know.

“Why on Earth would I break up with the worlds best girlfriend?” Cat was confused she couldn’t possibly see a reason as to why she would break up with Kara.

“I just thought after what happened tonight, that...” she trailed off not wanting to give Cat the reason to break up with her.

“Yes Kara? What did you think?”

“I thought you wouldn’t love me anymore.” A single tear slid down her cheek and she ducked her head to avoid Cats eyes.

“Kara? Look at me.” Cat gently took her chin and lifted so she was looking at her. “I love you, and nothing, I mean nothing will change that.”

“You’ll leave, maybe not today but everyone leaves me, I’m the worlds biggest fuck up.” Kara started crying more and cat pulled her in closer, Kara’s head now resting on her chest.

“Kara, you are not a fuck up! You are the strongest, most good willed, most beautiful person I have ever known.” The CEO was trying her best comfort Kara and she was now extremely concerned about her current state of mind. Kara was definitely not her usual bubbly self.

Sleep was slowly claiming Kara and she closed her eyes and fell asleep, still half atop of her girl friend.

Cat stayed awake for quite a while longer deep in thought on how she was going to help the most important person in her life.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!   
Normal disclaims apply

Chapter 2- 

Cats pov-

I don’t know what’s going on with Kara, but I have to figure it out and I have to figure it out soon. What ever it is it’s slowly killing her emotionally. She seems so unkara like. I will have to fill Alex in on the events of tonight, as Kara’s sister and doctor she has to know. I look down at my heart, my love and see that she sleeping peacefully, I sigh. She’s so beautiful, I don’t deserve her. I eventually fall asleep listening to the sounds of her rhythmic breathing.

Third person POV-

A few hours later Cat awoke to screaming. She looked around frantically trying to figure out, just what the hell was going on. She finally found the source of the noise and began to shake Kara. “Kara! Kara hunny, wake up. It’s just a dream. Kara!” Cat was practically yelling at Kara begging her to wake up. “Kara! It’s just a dream, wake up.” Finally her eyes shot open.

She was breathing fast and heavily just like earlier in the night. Tears were forming rivers down the length of her face. Her heart was pounding. Kara thought she was dying once again. Cat reached out to touch her but she jumped away. She slowly backed into the corner of the room and slid down the wall for the second time that night.

Kara had never shied away from Cat before, she was always a very affectionate person. Just what had happened to Kara? “Kara? It’s just me, it’s Cat. You’re at my place, you’re safe here. You’re safe Kara.” Kara slowly looked up and looked around for a second before lurching herself towards cat and hugging her with such ferocity cat yelped. She quickly returned the hug and Kara continued to cry into Cats shoulder.

“I-I’m so-rry.” She sobbed.

“Shhh, shh, you’re alright Kara.” Cat comforted rubbing circles on the small of her back. They stayed like this for about half an hour before Kara was ready to speak again.

“Do you want to talk about?” Cat knew the answer would probably be no but she thought she’d give her the option.

Kara shook her head before adding “it was the same as always.” Cat didn’t know what that meant only that this had happened before.

“So this has happened before?”

“Yeah, happens all the time. I’m use to it. Can we just go back to bed and forget this ever happened?”

“We can go back to bed but we will talk about this more tomorrow okay?” Cat knew the girl couldn’t talk about it right now, but cat also needed answers to be able to help her.

“Goodnight darling, I love you.”

“Lov you to, Cat” was the sleepy reply.

“Good morning sleepy head” Cat greeted from the kitchen.

“Morning Cat” Kara said as she took the coffee Cat was offering.

“How are you this morning?” Cat asked.

“I’m fine” came the practiced response. Cat knew she was lying but let it go since she had such a hard night.

“How are you?”

“I’m good, a little tired but nothing a little coffee can’t fix.” She smiled

“Cat? I just ah... I just wanted to say thank you...” Kara started shyly.

“Thank you? For what?” Cat was confused she hadn’t done anything?

“For um... helping me last night... twice. And for just putting up with me in general.” Kara looked down shuffling her feet nervously.

“Kara, you never have to thank me for helping you like that! That’s what girlfriends do! And I don’t put up with you, I love having you around. You make my life so much better.”

Kara just looked at Cat and nodded.

“Now Kara, what would you like for breakfast?”

Kara’s head shot up and she immediately felt sick. She couldn’t eat, she couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t do it. “I’m not hungry right now Cat, thanks though.” She lied. She was starving but she wasn’t going to get fatter.

“Kara, you have to be hungry. You have to eat 10x as much as a human and we didn’t eat dinner last night.” Cat was looking at her seriously. Kara was always hungry. She always had some kind of food with her.

“I have to go back to mine to get ready for work, I’ll grab something on the way in, do you want anything? I can go anywhere?” She said with a wink trying to hide the fact that she won’t infact eat breakfast making this her 5th day straight of fasting.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure, I’ll stop and get some sticky buns.” She forced a smile.

“I wish I had your metabolism.” Cat said bumping her playfully.

“I better get going so we aren’t late, I’ll see ya at work.” She leant over and gave Cat a deep and passionate kiss. Once the kiss broke Kara bid her goodbyes and went to leave when she was suddenly overcome with a wave of intense dizziness. She stumbled and almost fell to the ground but cat caught her. “Kara? Are you okay?” Cat was getting more and more worried.

“I’m fine, I think the exhaustion from all the nightmares is starting to catch up with me. Thanks for catching me though.” She lied. She knew why she was dizzy but she wasn’t about to tell Cat she hadn’t eaten in 5 days and didn’t plan on eating any time soon. Kara went to walk to window when she suddenly felt a tug on her arm.

“I don’t want you flying Kara, you seem I don’t know, if I didn’t know better I’d actually say you’re sick. Will you let me drive you?”

“I’m fine honestly, don’t worry. I’m indestructible and I don’t get sick, I’ll see you at work.” And with that she flew out the window leaving a shocked cat standing there.

The flight to her apartment was uneventful and she quickly went to the bathroom stripped down into her bra and undies and stepped onto the scales. 55kg it read. A massive smile appeared on her lips, today was going to be a good day. She quickly got dressed and then walked to Catco.

The elevator doors opened and Kara walked out with a big smile on her face. Cat smiled this was the first time in weeks that Kara seemed genuinely happy. “Your latte miss Grant.” She supplied.

“You seem better this morning.” She replied with a small smile on her face as she dipped her latte.

“I am, I had a shower and I feel much more awake. Told you I’d be fine.” She winked and walked back to her desk.

Cat sighed, Kara was okay, she was going to be okay. She was getting back her usual sunny Danvers.

The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful, Cat had her regular meetings and Kara was just editing some articles. That was until midday when Supergirl was needed for a 4 car pile up on the freeway.

Kara looked towards Cat and pointed to the elevator, she nodded and Kara took the elevator to the roof. She leapt into the sky and made her way to the pile up.

She made light work of pulling the trapped people from the cars and handing them over to the EMTs before flying off. She was just about to land on The roof of Catco Plaza when her powers suddenly cut out and she fell the last 3m slamming into the cement.

“Owww.” She exclaimed.

She tried to push herself up only to be met with extreme dizziness and pain. She sighed and laid back down, deciding that maybe laying in the sun will do her good.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review guys! It honestly makes my day!

Kara had been gone for over 2 hours now, but the news had only shown the one sighting of Supergirl, with her leaving 10 minutes after she left catco . Where is she? Cat was starting to worry, she tried calling her but no answer. She decided she’d go up to the roof and see if she could see her girlfriend anywhere, if not she’d call Alex.

She walked to her private elevator and ascends to the roof. The elevator doors open and Cat gasps before running to Kara’s unconscious form. “Kara! Kara?”

She yelled while shaking her shoulders. Kara coughed lightly before opening her eyes.

“Cat?” She croaked.

“Kara, I’m here. What happened?”

Cat was relieved that at least Kara was awake and speaking.

“I, um, I blew out my powers and then I fell,” she answered embarrassed.

“Can you stand up? We need to get you off the roof.”

Kara just nodded before trying to lift herself up. This action caused her to scream out in pain.

“Kara? What hurts? Are you okay?”

Cat was extremely worried Kara never screams in pain.

“I um, my back, it hurts.” Kara was crying now, it just hurt so much.

“Okay, it’s okay Kara, I will call Alex, have the helicopter come pick you up.” Cat was more worried than ever, had Kara broken her back?

“No! Please... d-don’t call Lexi”

Now she knew the young girl was far from okay, she never called Alex Lexi only when she was in pain or extremely sad.

“Kara, sweetie if you can’t stand up, I need to call Alex. How else am I going to get you off this roof?” Cat asked stroking Kara’s hair.

“Can you help me stand up? I know I can do it, I just need help.” She pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

“Okay, I will help you. Only if you promise that if it hurts to much we can call Alex.”

Kara just nodded before offering cat her hands to help her. Cat took her hands and gently pulled. Kara winced but forced herself not to scream or cry. The pain that was seizing through was like nothing she’d felt before but she couldn’t go to the Deo because they’d do a full medical work up on her. They can’t find out her secret at any cost. She made it to her feet and let out a shaky breath. “Fuck that hurt.”

“Kara, are you sure you’re okay?” Cat was only just noticing how pale she looked. It also wasn’t like Kara to swear.

“I’ll be fine, and I’ll be good as new once my powers come back.”

“I’d still feel better if we at least told Alex.You are obviously in a world of pain and you’re a bit pale. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I love you Kara” Cat was willing her tears to stay where they were.

“Cat I’m fine, it only hurts a little bit and I love you too. Help me get down to your office? Would it be okay if I took a nap on your balcony in the sun?”

“If it gets any worse you have to tell me and you will let me tell Alex. Those are my terms.” Kara just nodded her agreement. “Now lets go shall we, you have a nap to take.” Cat guided Kara toward the elevator. Despite her best effort Kara was relying heavily on Cat. A few tears escaped and slid silently down her face they were almost at the elevator when Kara’s vision started to go black. She swayed on her feet a bit and Cat stopped to steady her. “Kara?” She questioned, “Are you okay? Do you need a rest?” Cat thought maybe it was too much to do in one go.

“I-I’m ffine, we can keep going. I just lost my balance for a mminute.” Kara replied weekly, vision now tunneling. Cat tightened her grip on Kara and they continued to make there way to the elevator when Kara started to stumble and sway. “C-Cat... I.. I... need... stop..” was all Kara got out before her world went black and she collapsed into Cats arms. “Kara!” Cat screamed. She lowered her to ground and rested the girls head on her knee brushing. She tried squeezing her shoulder to bring her back to the land of consciousness but to no avail. She pulled out her phone and called Alex.

A- Danvers.

C- Alex! It’s Cat, i need you to get here ASAP!

A- Cat? What’s wrong? Are you okay?

C- It’s Kara, she’s lost her powers and apparently she fell and she hurt her back. I found her on the roof and she tried to convince me she was fine and just needed sun. So I helped her up and when we were walking she collapsed and I can’t wake her up.

A- I’m on my way! What’s her heart rate and breathing like?

C- her heart rate is slow, and her breathing is kind of ragged. Please hurry Alex, I can’t lose her.

A- I’m 3 mins away, hang up and I’ll be there in a sec.

Alex’s point of view-

The line went dead. I was in a black DEO issue van equipped to handle Supergirl emergencies. Why didn’t Kara call me? She always tells me when she blows out her powers. Did she not want me there? She’s been kinda distant lately. Ugh I’m so worried about her. I hope she’s okay.

Third person-

Alex arrived at catco and took the elevator straight to the roof just stopping to flash her badge at security. The elevator feels like it’s takes days, then the doors open. “Kara, oh god Kara.” Alex breaths out at the sight of her sister laying lifeless on the ground. Not far behind Alex comes the gurney to transfer Kara back to the DEO.

“Can you help me lift her cat?” Cat just nods not trusting herself to talk at the moment. Alex leans over and takes Kara’s left arm and drapes it around her neck and Cat does the same with her right arm and the gently haul her up onto her feet. Alex was shocked at how much lighter Kara seemed before assuming that cat must be taking more of the weight than her.

“We need to get her down stairs, I have a van equipped to deal with precisely this” Alex said while waving her free hand motioning to Kara’s life less body. “Is she okay Alex? I’ve never seen her like this.” Cats voice betraying her and her concern clearly heard.

“She gets completely drained and goes near comatose every time she loses her powers. She should be fine in a few hours.”cat nodded as relief washed over her face. They continued guiding Kara to the elevator, out the lobby and into the black van. The ride to the DEO was quiet, Alex silently glancing over at Cat holding Kara’s hand.

Alex and Cat were both standing either side of Kara who was in the med bay. Alex was doing a full physical on Kara, to make sure it was just a solar flare and not an alien parasite or virus. “Hmm, that’s odd.” Alex hummed.

“What’s odd?” Cat asked.

“Oh, her heart rate and blood pressure are both low, even with her asleep.”

“Is that a problem?” Cat asked concerned for her girlfriend.

“To be honest Cat, I don’t know. We will see how she is when she wakes up. I’ll continue my tests.” And she did she did an MRI, and drew some blood. “I’ll be back in but, I have to go analyse these bloods, will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, thanks Alex.”

Alex nods and heads to her lab. Cat reaches over and grabs Kara’s hand gently rubbing circles on the back of it. “Please wake up Kara, I can’t lose you.” A single tear rolled down Cat’s face and that’s when she felt pressure on her hand, Kara was waking up. “Kara?” Cat questioned, but was met with no reply. “Come on Kara, open your eyes.”

“C-Cat?” A rough voice asked.

“Yeah, Kara. I’m here. Open your eyes.” Then green eyes met blue as Kara’s eyes fluttered open. “There she is, how are you feeling?” Cat asked as she places a quick kiss on her forehead.

“Um, I feel kinda week. Where are we?” Kara asked slightly panicked.

“We are at the DEO, do you remember what happened?”

“I lost my powers, fell, I remember. Cat we have to go, I can’t be here, I don’t want to be here, take me home please, I can’t do this.” Kara was working herself up, and her heart rate and breathing had sped up significantly.

“Hey, hey, Kara, look at me. You are safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you. You need to calm down, Alex will be back in a minute.” Cat was trying to calm her girlfriend but seemed to have had the opposite effect, once she mentioned Alex the panic increased tenfold.

Alex came rushing in once she heard the alarms of Kara’s heart monitor going off telling her that it was too high. “What’s going on?” Alex asked upon entering. Kara’s panic continued to rise as she saw Alex.

Kara’s pov-

I can’t let them find out, I have to get out of here. Why won’t they let me be? I have to leave, I have to leave. If they find out they’ll tell me how fat I am but I already know. What if they make me eat. Oh god oh god, what if they make me eat a full meal, I can’t do this, I can’t do this. I can’t breathe, oh god I can’t breathe, I’m dying, I’m dying, I’m going to die.

Third person pov-

“C-a-n’t bbbr—eathe.” Kara tried to get out. Her breathing was much to fast and they had to slow it down or sedate her. “Kara? Kara! You need to look at me, okay?” Alex slowly approached Kara with her hands up as if she was approaching a wounded animal. Kara finally looked up. “Good, good girl. Now I’m going to take your hand okay?” Kara just nodded and allowed Alex to guide her hand to Alex’s chest. “I want you to focus on matching your breathing to mine and slowing down you heart okay? You can do it.” Kara did as she was told well tried to, after ten minutes her breathing was finally starting to settle down and exhaustion was setting in. Kara was struggling to stand up she was too tired. Cat could see Kara start to falter and reached out to steady her but instead Kara turned and latched onto her. Cat ran soothing circles over the small of her back and gently guided them to the floor. Kara was practically siting in Cats lap but she didn’t mind if this is what Kara needs she will provide it. She would honestly do anything for her young hero. “I love you Kara Zor-El. Don’t you ever forget it.” Cat whispered in her ear.

“Love you too.” Was the last thing Kara said before her battle for consciousness was lost once again.

“Alex, do you have any idea what’s going on? This isn’t Kara, I know she’s had panic attacks before but normally only after flashback dreams, or when there’s a thunderstorm that reminds her of krypton. Never because she woke up at the DEO, or at the mention of your name.” Cat was looking to Alex hoping she had the answers she so desperately seeked.

“I-I wish I knew. I’ve never seen her like this Cat. I did how ever finish analysing her blood and got the MRI results. She had a dislocated vertebrae which would explain the back pain but it relocated it’s self. It’ll be tender and sore for a few days or until she gets her powers back. She also seems to be deficient in several vitamins and minerals, which is extremely odd. Kara eats so much food in a day that there is no reason her to be deficient in anything. It’s almost as if...” Alex stopped mid sentence deep in thought. “Cat? When was the last time you saw Kara eat?” Cat looked at her like she was crazy, Kara always had food. But when she thought about it, it had been at least a week since she’d seen Kara eat anything. “Uh, i haven’t seen her eat since our last proper date, but that was over a week ago.”

“Can you remember what she ordered?”

“I think she had a garden salad. I remember because it was weird, Kara never ate anything green. But then she said she was trying to eat healthier.”

“Cat can you please help me get her changed, her suit is covered in dirt and smells of smoke from the pile up.” Cat nodded and they both picked Kara up and laid her back on the med bed before her they started taking of her super suit. They managed to get her arms out and they were gently guiding the rest of suit down past her ribs when they both suddenly stopped to take in the sight in front of them.

Both of them gasped at the sight before them. Kara’s skin hugged her ribs so tightly you could count them.

“Oh my god, Kara. What were you thinking? Why didn’t you come to me, to us ? How didn’t I notice?” Cat began but tears were streaming down her face. She couldn’t believe anything like this would happen to Kara. Nothing like this should have happened to Kara.

“Kara, when you wake up we have long conversation ahead.” Alex said as she also let the water works flow. Alex walked over and pulled Cat into a hug knowing she needed it as much as her. Both women stood there crying into each other shoulders until they heard a cough a the door.

“Um, is this a bad time?”

“No, J’onn. What’s up?” Alex tried to hide her emotion but knew it was hopeless since he can read minds anyways.

“Your mind reached out Alex, is she going to be okay?”

“She’s, I, well I actually don’t know.” The Alex has tried to build came tumbling down and she started to cry. “I can’t lose her J’onn. I can’t.” J’onn pulled Alex into his embrace and let her cry. He didn’t tell her it was going to be okay, because he didn’t know if it would be. But instead he said, “ what ever happens Alex, you will not be alone. You have me. We will get through this together.” Alex tightened her grip before letting go. “Thanks J’onn.”

“You got me too.” Cat said from next to Kara.

“I let you get back to fixing your sister.” And with that J’onn left the room.

“Thanks Cat, and your stuck with me too.” Alex said sincerely giving Cat a squeeze on the shoulder.

The two of them finished changing Kara into a hospital gown before settling into the chairs next to her bed.

A couple of hours later Kara started to come to.

“Cat? Alex?” She asked.

“We’re both right here Kara.” Alex replied.

Kara slowly opened her eyes to see her breath takingly gorgeous girlfriend and wonderful sister. She looked down and then started to panic, these weren’t her clothes. Someone had to have changed her, someone had seen her without clothes on. She once again couldn’t control her breathing. She felt her lungs burning desperate for air.

“Kara? Kara! You need to calm down, breathe in and breathe out, come on babe, match your breathe to mine.” Cat said as she got impossibly close to her. Alex sat back knowing that if she spoke she would just overwhelm Kara. Alex was so glad Kara had found someone as caring as Cat.

“That’s it babe, nice and easy. Nothing to be scared of here, just us.” Cat tried to reassure Kara. After ten minutes Kara had finally calmed down enough to talk.

“I’m sorry.” She said guiltily.

“Kara, what have I said about you apologising for panic attacks? You never ever ever, have to apologise for them, okay?” Kara had always apologised for having panic attacks ever since she landed on earth because she always felt like she was a burden to Alex and now Cat.

“Sorry Alex.” She looked down to her hands only just noticing that her fingers were laced wit Cats.

“So I guess you guys changed me?” She sounded defeated and scared at the same time, as if she thought they would yell at her.

“Yes Kara we did” Alex said matter of factly.

“So I guess you both figured everything out?”

“Yes Kara, and we only have one question. Why didn’t you come to us? You know we wouldn’t judge you, you know we would’ve only offered help, so why?” Cat needed to know.

“I- I was scared. And...” she let out a big sigh before finishing in a voice so soft they could barely hear it. “ I guess I didn’t want to be better, I wanted to lose weight.”

Tears began to stream down Kara’s face, she couldn’t hold them in any longer. Cat and Alex both leaned forward and wrapped Kara up in their embrace. “You’ll be okay Kar, you got me and you got Cat. You do need to start eating though. You’re lucky you passed out when you did. Your potassium levels were getting low which effect your heart. If you’d have kept going, you could’ve killed yourself.” Alex was being deadly serious, even if the tears flowing down her face showed them how scared she had been. Kara just looked at Alex feeling guiltier than ever “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Kara said in a voice so soft and broken it broke there hearts to hear. What happened to their little puppy personified sunny Kara Danvers? How did they not notice how depressed and anxious Kara was all the time, how didn’t they notice the weight she’d lost.

Alex and cat just pulled her tighter into their embrace and no one let go for what felt like hours. Until a little voice Finally had the courage to ask “can we go home? I hate being in the med bay everyone looks at me like I’m dying.”

“Well you can only go home if you have someone with you at all times.” Alex said knowing if either of them left Kara by herself she’d never eat.

“Alex I am a grown up, I can look after myself.” Kara tried desperately to get out of 24/7 supervision, she wasn’t a child.

“I know you’re an adult Kara, but let’s go over the events of today shall we? You haven’t eaten in what I guess is at least 48 hours, you blew out your powers, fell onto Catcos roof, hurt your back, had several panic attacks and you never once told us what was going on.” Alex had a point and Kara could deny it, so instead she just sighed.

“Fine.” Was all Kara had to say.

“You can both stay at mine, I have plenty of spare rooms, plus then we can both be there.” Cat had already decided and they all knew once Cat Grant had made up her mind you couldn’t change it. “We can leave when you’re ready Kara.” Alex unformed.

“Let’s get this over with.” Kara sighed.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors notes: please review if I should continue? Also is my English okay, like is this story making sense? Constructive criticism is really appreciated! Here’s a new chapter:

After a non eventful ride to Cats penthouse they were all sitting around her table eating Chinese. Well Alex and Cat were eating Chinese, Kara found a loophole to eating

. She figured out she could sneak bits of food into her handbag below the table thus not having to eat. If Cat and Alex noticed they didn’t say anything.

“I’m so proud of you Kara! You managed to eat half!” Alex praises, completely unaware that Kara had infact eaten nothing.

“Yeah, thanks Alex.”

“Do you wanna watch a movie? Or play a board game?” Alex asked hopeful, she hadn’t really seen much of her sister these past few weeks.

“I’m kind of tired, can I just go to bed?” Kara asked feeling guilty.

“Of course you can sweat heart. You know where it is, I’ll be in soon.” Cat answered. Kara just nodded and headed into Cats room.

“I’m so worried about her Cat. She’s not Kara anymore, she’s not sunny Kara Danvers the playful puppy. She’s so sad all the time and I dont know how to help her.”

“We will figure it out Alex, we have to.”

It had been a few days since they found out Kara wasn’t eating and both Alex and Cat were surprised at how much they didn’t have to argue with Kara to make her eat. Cat was even willing to let Kara go back to work today, on the provision that Kara ate morning tea with her at 10am, lunch at 1pm and afternoon tea at 3:30 before leaving at 6. Kara seemed frustrated at having to eat that much at work but also eager to get back to work, despite the fact she hadn’t eaten a meal in a little over a week.

“Are you ready for work Kara?” Cat questioned from the kitchen.

“Yeah I am... super speed helps.” Kara said with a smile. Cat just chuckled glad to see Kara returning to her usual self.

“Let’s go then.”

“Bye Alex, love you.” Kara said as she pulled Alex into her embrace.

“Remember Kara, even though you have your powers back you’re still sick, take it easy and no supergirl. I love you too.” Came Alex’s reply.

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

“Don’t worry Alex I’ll make sure of it.” Cat said with a wink. And with that they left the penthouse and headed to Catco.

As they walked into the bullpen Kara was instantly greeted by James and Winn. “Kara! You’re back! What happened? You never take time off?” Winn questioned.

“I blew out my powers and got sick. But I’m 100% fine now.” Kara lied flashing them one of her sunny smiles. They both smiled back at her before James added; “I’m just glad you’re okay, we get worried when you don’t come in.” Winn nodded his agreement.

“Sorry guys I’ll message you next time. I better get to work. Bye.”

“Bye” the other two replied in unison.

Kara sat at her desk and sighed, she was already exhausted and she only just got here, not that she’d admit that to anyone. She got started on catching up with all the work she’d missed the last few days.

“Keira!” Cat called from her office.

“Yes Miss Grant?” Came Kara automatic response.

“Kara it’s time for morning tea.” Cats look soften as she saw Kara tense

“Can’t we wait a little bit longer Cat? I’m not hungry...” a lie she was starving she was always starving “we only just ate breakfast” another lie she in fact ate nothing at breakfast.

“No kara, we have to do it now. I know how much you hate it, but it’s the only way you’re going to get better,” Cat held out her hand and Kara took it. “Come on, let’s eat on the balcony.”

Kara started to panic there was no where for her to hide food out here, she was actually going to have to eat it.

‘You can’t eat this, you were going so well. You’ve been doing great, don’t undo all your hard work by eating now. Lie. Lie. Lie. Get out of it, you have to lie.’

“Kara? Are you okay?” Kara had just stopped in front of her chair.

“Oh, um. Yes. I’m fine sorry just got lost in thought for a second.” Not a complete lie Kara thought.

“You don’t have to eat much Kara. Just a muffin.” Kara nodded and took the muffin. She broke off the tiniest piece and rolled it around her hands for a while until Cat said “Kara? You realise you actually have to eat the muffin at some point right?” She placed the piece in her mouth and reluctantly chewed then swallowed.

‘I can’t believe you just ate that, your going to get fat. You’re already fat, do you really want to be any fatter? You’re a failure.’

“And again Kara, you’re doing great.” Kara shook her head.

“I can’t do this Cat. I’m not hungry.” A single tear slid down Kara’s face.

“Hey, yes you can. It’s not that much food Kara it’s a tiny muffin, I know you can do it. At least try and eat a bit more, for me?” Kara looked at the muffin and sighed, she broke off another bit and put in her mouth looking slightly disgusted by the fact that she was eating it, then she finally swallowed it.

‘What are you doing? You have to stop, you can’t eat anymore. You’re getting fatter, every bite is making gain weight. Kara stop!’

Kara looked out over the balcony wishing she could just disappear and that nobody would notice. She wouldn’t have to eat if she was dead.

“Kara?” Cat gently placed a hand on the small of her back

“I can’t do this Cat, I just can’t.” And with that Kara got up and walked inside tears rolling down her face and headed straight to the employees bathroom.

‘You have to get it out of you, you can’t leave it there, get rid of it. You’re fat, you’re worthless, you can’t even eat. Cats going to leave you.’

That last thought broke her. Kara entered the stall and starting throwing up into the toilet sobbing uncontrollably and unable to catch her breath.

Cat headed towards the employee bathrooms as she had seen Kara enter. Winn was right behind her.

“Miss Grant, is Kara okay? She was crying and Kara doesn’t cry, well like she can cry but it’s not like her to cry, especially in public and I...”

cat cut him off. “She’s having a bit of a hard time at the moment but we will get her through it she’ll be okay, she has to be. Now get back to work.” With that she turned and entered the bathrooms.

She heard it the minute she opened the door, the sound of throwing up and crying. She immediately knew it was Kara. She approached the stall thankful to see it unlocked.

“Kara?” Kara tensed and her panic got worse.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay, just breathe Kara, get it all out.” Cat just kept rubbing soothing circles on her back as she continued to throw up, not that there was anything left, she was just throwing up bile now.

“Shhhh, you’re okay Kara. Just take some nice breaths, listen to my heart beat just focus on me.” After about 20 minutes Kara had finally stopped throwing up and calmed down enough to talk.

“I I’m sorry”

“Kara? What have I said?”

“I know, no crying at work. I’ll go get my things.”

Cat couldn’t believe what she was hearing Kara thought she was going to get fired because she got sick and had a panic attack at work.

“Hey Kara, you are not fired. You silly alien I meant what have I said about you apologising after panic attacks? But I will go grab your things because we are going home.”

“We don’t have to I’m fine now, I can still work.” Kara tried to flash one of her sunny smiles but it didn’t fool Cat.

“Kara you’re exhausted and you feel like shit I can tell. We are going home okay?.” Cat left no room for argument. Kara felt so guilty for making Cat miss work.

“You could always have your driver drop me off, I know you don’t want to have to babysit me when you have work to do.”

“Is that what you think Kara? I would do anything you need me too, and right now you need my support so I’m going to be there for you, not because you make me but because I want to. Okay? I’m choosing this Kara, you aren’t forcing me.” Cat held out her arms and pulled Kara into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“Come on, let’s grab our stuff and head home.” Kara just nodded and headed for the door.

Even though everyone knew they were dating they weren’t overly affectionate at work, because well Cat still had a reputation to up hold.

Kara’s pov-

What am I doing, I need to get a grip. Cat has a life to live she doesn’t want to babysit me. I need to prove to her that I’m fine and that she can leave me alone and that I’ll eat. I won’t eat but she doesn’t need to know that. I need to hide this better. I will hide this better.

“Hey Kara, are you okay? You seemed pretty upset before.” Winn asked startling her.

“Oh hey Winn, um yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She answered anxiously. Dammit Kara pull yourself together no wonder people don’t believe you.

“Are you sure? You don’t really seem fine. And you took time off work and well I haven’t really seen you lately, you keep canceling games night, I guess I just miss you.” Winn rambled.

“I miss you too Winn, I’ve just been, I’ve been busy. You know work, supergirl, and uh other things.but honestly I’m fine, I’m fine.” I flashed my sunny Danvers smile hoping to seal the deal but the smile didn’t really reach my eyes and my best friend knows im not fine but he leaves it and smiles it back.

I walked over to my desk and picked up the discarded muffin I was about to throw it in the bin when a colleague said “I swear you only ever eat junk food, if you keep eating like that youll end up getting fat.”

Third person POV-

Cat had just caught up to Kara as she heard “I swear you only ever eat junk food, if you keep eating like that you’ll end up getting fat.” Kara went completely still and paled and cat knew she had to do something

“Michael! I don’t pay you to have opinions and don’t you know it’s rude to comment on what people eat, get back to work or you’re fired!”

“Kara? Are you okay?” Cat asked gently. Kara didn’t answer, she didn’t even react to Cat at all.

“Kara?” She tried again.

“Hmm, what?” Was her confused reply.

“I asked if you were okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?”

“Kara, don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not, I’m fine, he’s right if I keep eating this shit I’m going to fat.”

“Kara, you could eat as much as you wanted literally and you would never get fat you know that. People like him are just jealous of how beautiful you are.”

Kara just rolled her eyes, her beautiful never she was far to fat to be even pretty.

“Grab your things and lets head home okay?” Cat knew Kara needed rest and a meal.

“I think I can tough out the rest day.” Kara tried to show her that she was fine that she could this.

“Kara? Are you sure?” Cat was sceptical.

“I’m sure, I can do this. I have to do this.” Kara looked determined.

“Fine, You can stay. But on one condition, you have to have lunch in half an hour and you have to eat a decent amount, and if I see you look pale, dizzy or too tired we are going home no arguments okay?” Kara nodded her agreement. “Can I eat lunch at my desk? It’s easier by myself.” She lied.

“I guess you can but your bin will be checked after the meal, and I will be watching you from my office okay?”

“I guess that’s fine.” She smiled internally, she might actually pull this off.

“Okay then, get back to work Keira.” Cat said in her CEO voice. Kara just smiled at her.


End file.
